Sunday, August 6, 2017

Sometimes you just have to jump!



For the past 5, maybe 6 years I have gone back and forth about whether to pursue further education to be an administrator. I have had many people tell me over the years that they think I would make a good principal. Now maybe they just wanted to make me feel good, but who knows. So numerous times in those past 6 years I have researched what the certification requirements are and where I can take the classes and each time I have chickened out. I think partly because I worked so hard to get my Master's degree and become a teacher in the first place. I didn't want it to seem like I didn't want to be a teacher. Just for the record, I love teaching and love my students!!! I love that my students know my favorite color is purple and that I would like to be a princess. One student this year asked me several times why I wanted to be a princess. Each time I told her that I wouldn't have to cook or clean so why wouldn't I want to be a princess. Sorry I digress. The fact of the matter is I have always felt inside like I might be able to use all that I have learned as a teacher to have a direct impact on more students and teachers. So why did I keep dragging my feet.....one simple word....fear.

Fear of what people would think. Would they laugh and say who does she think she is. Why does she think she should be an administrator.

Fear of making the wrong choice.

Fear of people thinking that I don't like teaching or my students. Or thinking that I should just be happy and content being a teacher.

Fear that I will fail. What happens if I try and I really can't do it? THIS IS THE BIGGEST ONE FOR ME!!

This summer something clicked. One day my wonderfully supportive husband said just the right words I needed to hear (I am sure he has said it before, but the timing was right this time). "I think you would make a great administrator." From that moment on I decided not to let my fear win. I applied and got accepted back at UNE. I have a plan to take 5 classes (while teaching full time of course) between August 30, 2017 and August 19, 2018 which should make be eligible to be an Assistant Building Administrator. Now of course at some point in the future I will need to actually get hired as an Assistant Principal, but these steps that I am taking feel good. They make me not afraid, okay who am I kidding I am still extremely afraid I will be terrible as an administrator, but I am happy that I am at least trying. 

Today while I was filling out paperwork for school and looking at certification requirements I received a text message from a friend. This is what it was. 
                                       
This could not have been more perfect. I do not know where my journey will lead me, but what I hope is that those people around me will see that I tried even if I was afraid. 
~Erica